The next station is… Inconvenience …Please mind the gap!!!

Quick question: Where do you hear the following statements the most?

“Hatto bhai! Khisko yaar! Arre yahan jagah nahi hai! Tune mujhe kohni kaise mari behen*#*#, tere baap ki jagah hai yeh etc etc?!”

Ans: You-know-what (If you haven’t guessed, you probably use headphones while travelling in it, or are super rich, and use a car. But in the latter case, you wouldn’t be reading this blog would you? (I presume rich people have better things to do)).

I have always been a huge fan of the Delhi Metro, especially in the not-so-pleasant Delhi summers, and extremely cold winters. The A/C always seems to be working perfectly, the sweet yet firm voice of the announcers and the general hassle of transportation that is avoided completely.

This perception has taken a big blow since the last one month that I have been a regular user of the Delhi Metro. Since my office is in Okhla, and I stay in Ashok Vihar, it made more sense to me to spend around 100 bucks (auto fare included) rather than spending a costly 400 on the daily petrol kharcha I would have had to bear.



 But I must say, the last one month has changed my view about the Delhi Metro completely. Not only is it stupidly crowded, but it has become more of a ‘hell-in-a-coach’ wrestling match for me for close to 3 hours that I spend in the metro every day.



Try and find your friend now mate!!!



Some quirks that I have noticed over a period of time which are both irritating and funny at the same time are:

·         People do not look for seats anymore. Maximum crowd today tries to occupy their place to stand. So they will grab poles, stand in the metro connector with their bums attached to the sides, and try to balance themselves in some form of yoga ‘aasan’.

·         The crowd literally fights to get on the escalator. Do not believe me? Try to board the escalator at the Central Secretariat station which takes you towards the JehangirPuri platform at 6 p.m. and you will know what I mean.

·         While going back from Okhla, the train takes 8 minutes to travel between Khan Market and Central Secretariat, and that is just one station.

·         People in the metro look so hopeless and depressed, as if their life has ended. Everyone has a Devdas look on their face; the only thing missing is a bottle of liquor.

·         The stench in the compartment, especially in the evening, is something Hitler would have happily given 100 million dollars to use in his gas chambers to kill the Jews.

·         Even if the back compartments are relatively less crowded, crowd can mostly be found on the connector between the ladies compartment and men’s compartment; 40 something uncles trying to ogle the girls as if trying to see inside their dresses. Disgusting! (Had a couple of fights on this with some metro passengers).

·         Oddly, it always seems that the metro is more regular on the platform across you. While you sweat it out standing in a queue (whatever that means to the commuters), the metro is zipping by on the opposite side, mocking you of standing there like an idiot.

 P.S. (I am too decent to eavesdrop as to what happens in the ladies compartment, I am hoping you guys will fill in the details in the comments below)

I also have a suggestion: How the F*ck do the Metro officials expect us to fit the commuters of an entire train in one metro? That is the condition that happens when the entire train drops at Central Secretariat and heads towards the JehagirPuri line. With only a few guards present, it is madness magnified at the station. Why can’t the metro run some trains starting from Central Secretariat itself?

I am sure many readers of this blog face a similar situation in the metro they travel in (irrespective of the line they use). It is literally high time that the officials wake up to the plight of the commuter and do something about it. If you want us to travel by the metro everyday and encourage the use of metro, at least have the basic infrastructure of supporting it first. As Naseerudin Shah puts it in A Wednesday, “ Logon mein gussa bahut hai, unhe aazmaana band kijiye”.

Doors closed.