The next station is… Inconvenience …Please mind the gap!!!

Quick question: Where do you hear the following statements the most?

“Hatto bhai! Khisko yaar! Arre yahan jagah nahi hai! Tune mujhe kohni kaise mari behen*#*#, tere baap ki jagah hai yeh etc etc?!”

Ans: You-know-what (If you haven’t guessed, you probably use headphones while travelling in it, or are super rich, and use a car. But in the latter case, you wouldn’t be reading this blog would you? (I presume rich people have better things to do)).

I have always been a huge fan of the Delhi Metro, especially in the not-so-pleasant Delhi summers, and extremely cold winters. The A/C always seems to be working perfectly, the sweet yet firm voice of the announcers and the general hassle of transportation that is avoided completely.

This perception has taken a big blow since the last one month that I have been a regular user of the Delhi Metro. Since my office is in Okhla, and I stay in Ashok Vihar, it made more sense to me to spend around 100 bucks (auto fare included) rather than spending a costly 400 on the daily petrol kharcha I would have had to bear.



 But I must say, the last one month has changed my view about the Delhi Metro completely. Not only is it stupidly crowded, but it has become more of a ‘hell-in-a-coach’ wrestling match for me for close to 3 hours that I spend in the metro every day.



Try and find your friend now mate!!!



Some quirks that I have noticed over a period of time which are both irritating and funny at the same time are:

·         People do not look for seats anymore. Maximum crowd today tries to occupy their place to stand. So they will grab poles, stand in the metro connector with their bums attached to the sides, and try to balance themselves in some form of yoga ‘aasan’.

·         The crowd literally fights to get on the escalator. Do not believe me? Try to board the escalator at the Central Secretariat station which takes you towards the JehangirPuri platform at 6 p.m. and you will know what I mean.

·         While going back from Okhla, the train takes 8 minutes to travel between Khan Market and Central Secretariat, and that is just one station.

·         People in the metro look so hopeless and depressed, as if their life has ended. Everyone has a Devdas look on their face; the only thing missing is a bottle of liquor.

·         The stench in the compartment, especially in the evening, is something Hitler would have happily given 100 million dollars to use in his gas chambers to kill the Jews.

·         Even if the back compartments are relatively less crowded, crowd can mostly be found on the connector between the ladies compartment and men’s compartment; 40 something uncles trying to ogle the girls as if trying to see inside their dresses. Disgusting! (Had a couple of fights on this with some metro passengers).

·         Oddly, it always seems that the metro is more regular on the platform across you. While you sweat it out standing in a queue (whatever that means to the commuters), the metro is zipping by on the opposite side, mocking you of standing there like an idiot.

 P.S. (I am too decent to eavesdrop as to what happens in the ladies compartment, I am hoping you guys will fill in the details in the comments below)

I also have a suggestion: How the F*ck do the Metro officials expect us to fit the commuters of an entire train in one metro? That is the condition that happens when the entire train drops at Central Secretariat and heads towards the JehagirPuri line. With only a few guards present, it is madness magnified at the station. Why can’t the metro run some trains starting from Central Secretariat itself?

I am sure many readers of this blog face a similar situation in the metro they travel in (irrespective of the line they use). It is literally high time that the officials wake up to the plight of the commuter and do something about it. If you want us to travel by the metro everyday and encourage the use of metro, at least have the basic infrastructure of supporting it first. As Naseerudin Shah puts it in A Wednesday, “ Logon mein gussa bahut hai, unhe aazmaana band kijiye”.

Doors closed.

Why you should push Start, X, Triangle, Square and Circle

“Get up!!!” My mum screamed, as if I had to report at the battlefront at 0500hrs. “Maa, just 2 more mins”, I said, trying to make puppy eyes, but failing miserably. “That’s it”, she said, and snapped the adopter cable from the TV. “Nooooooooooo”, I howled, looking at the blank screen. I was 13, at Mario’s 8^th world, dragon’s stage, where I was supposed to finally meet the princess. I sat crying for the next 3 hours, my mother trying to console me for 4.

I have been a gaming addict for the past 20 years. As most of you, my initial fixations started with playing Mario, Contra, Tetris and Excite Bike on a ‘cassette’ chip, on the ‘Media’ console. I was so obsessed with getting the Mario princess that I sat straight for 14 hours just to get a glimpse of her, and then paused the game there for another 5 hours so that everyone in my house, when they came back from work, could see her.

I got my first game console when I was in class 9, and since then, there has been no looking back.
Today, I own a Playstation 3, a Playstation Portable, an iPad 2 and a laptop, which all house to my various ‘gaming’ needs.

But, you would ask, why this fixation? After all, what good can a game do except make Jack a dull boy, since there is a low possibility of any physical exercise? But with the advent of technology, the question has become null and void today.

Today, The Video Game industry is pegged close to $15 billion an year. Each month, about a 100 new titles hit the market. Sony and Microsoft have sold closed to a 100 million consoles, and I am not even talking about the hand-held versions. Gone are the days of pixelated, sub-par images. Games like L.A. Noire and Batman: Arkham Asylum use motion capture to record facial expressions of characters, and sometimes take 7 years to complete one single game.

Video Game Expo in the US

Now, there must be something that has led to this incredible growth. And if people are buying it, then there must be a reason. Let me give you some points on why should join this bandwagon:

1. Games help children who are ill or have injuries. Absorption in a game distracts the mind from pain and discomfort. Many hospitals are encouraging children and others undergoing painful treatments to play games.

2. Many medical departments are using computer games as a form of physiotherapy. Games help people who are recovery from physical injuries gain motor skills and coordination too.

3. Video games and computer games are known to improve hand-eye co-ordination and help players gain many skills.

4. Games induce decision making and tech players to think on their feet.

5. Games create team players and hone social skills too.

6. Games are known to enhance creativity and inculcate a taste for graphics, design and technology.

7. Many games improve language and math skills as players have to move at a great speed along with the heroes of the game.

8. Make it a family affair. Ask everyone to join.

9. Video and computer games help you gain self confidence and many games are based on history, city building, and governance and so on. Such games indirectly teach you about aspects of life on earth.

10. Games teach players problem solving, motivation, and cognitive skills. Most games inspire players to strive and reach more difficult levels presenting challenges at each stage.

11. Be what you want to be. Leap off buildings, be a thug, win a car-chase, kill 15 monsters in one shot, beat the computer at boxing, etc etc. Play James Bond, Superman, Harry Potter, Lara Croft, or my favourite, Stewie Griffin from Family Guy.

A classic case-in-example is the Dualshock controller of the Playstation 3. There are two joysticks that need to be moved simultaneously because one controls the player movement, while the other controls the camera. Hence, a person is able to move both the joysticks, push buttons and decide the path (for ex, to go left or right in a car chase) at once, greatly evolving the hand-eye co-ordination.

Sony Dualshock 3

On the other hand, with the coming of next-gen controllers like Microsoft Kinect and Playtsation Move, which are dependent on the physical movement of a player, the question of physical exercise is also eradicated.

Stop the monotonous regime of your daily life. Buy a video game.

The You-Know-Which-Trip...dissected The Final Chapter

To all my friends at MMC...U guys seriously rock...

11th March 2010, 8:00 AM

After sleeping like a one-year old baby, I was woken up by the alarm. Erstwhile, everyone in my room was ready except me and Rohan Ji. First of all, getting up, it took me a moment to realize where I was. I had actually forgotten in my sleep that I was in Nainital. Anyways, I got up and did my usual exercises (God, how I missed my gym!) and finally by 9.30, went with everyone for breakfast.

9.30 AM

The breakfast that day was neither delecious nor good-looking, so I decided to stick to jam and bread only. Everyone around me was having coffee/tea, and I could feel the warmth getting in their body just by sitting next to me. I enquired about how the coffee tasted (It must be hard-to-believe, but I have never had coffee in my life, ever). Apoorva suggested that I gave it a try, and I asked her to get me one. I don't know wether coffee generally tastes this bad, or was it just that cup, but it was really bad. Till that day, I had only seen coffee drinkers enjoying their cups as if it was the end of the world for them. But after tasting, I can safely say that nothing beats Bournvita and milk :)

After breakfast we decided on the day's itinerary. We had a lot of places to cover and very little time. So the initial itinerary decided for the day was:

1. Head to Naini lake for boating. Then visit the Naini temple.
2. Go to the ropeway.
3. Come back to hotel for lunch.
4. Visit the cave museum.

Though I insisted that we should leave the juniors alone, Rohan Ji being the 'sabka bhala chahne wala' he is, asked them to join us too. Finally, we marched

11.30 AM

Upon reaching Naini lake and seeing the rope-way going over the lake, we revised the itinerary. First, the rope-way and then the boating, it was decided. We headed towards the entry gate (in the mean time, some controversial pictures were clicked),

Controversy :)

but after collecting 150 Rs. from everyone, we split in 3 groups and made our way over the mountain.

12:00 AM

Boy, did we have fun on the hilltop. As soon as I got down, I saw a shooting game happening between Apoorva and Swati. I decided to join them, test my own skill (which I came to know later, I was pretty good at). I took 10 shots, and all of them hit the target. Next best was Apoorva, who hit 8/10. Swati was more interested in hitting the air than the target, and the farther the target got, the more air she hit.

Bull's Eye

 Finally giving that up, we decided to visit the other side of the ropeway, and look at China Peak.

As luck would have it, China Peak was not visible, weather being the culprit. But we got a lot of pictures clicked with guns (literally) and pissed the gunman off. Before he could fire at us, we ran off the place, avoiding casualties.

As we were making our way down, we heard a sound 'Aaaaaaahhhhhh and Vrooooom'. Being the inquisitive-headed man I am, I ran towards the place where the sound was coming from. We saw what can be aptly described  as 'Stairway to Heaven'. A 20 feet high ride that takes you up and then brings you screaming down. Now I'm quite sure that everyone has done this once in their lifetime (If you haven't, where have you been living mate? Stone Age?). 60 Rs per head. I joined in.

Aaaaahhhhh....Vrrrroooommmm

 The first lot to go was Gitika, Me and Mustaquim. Though me and Mustaquim Mia were reasonably comfy, Gitika's face said it all. A cocktail of Fear, Excitement and Nervousness gripped her. And what can an adrenaline junkie like me ask for? "Tu gai Gitika", I said, laughing looking at her face. She was so nervous she didn't even reply. I waited for the ride to start. Slowly, it took us up. I had brought my camera along. The scene from the top was breath-taking. As soon as I had clicked a couple of pictures, the ride went down with full force. "Wooooooo" I shouted, while the same echo came from Gitika, albeit in some kind of a different tone. Then it went up again, and this time, brought us down in rather 'vigerous' shakes. It was fun.

Gitika's expression says it all

In the next time, Megha, Apoorva and Swati went. They enjoyed it too. This time, I decided to sit on the other side, from where we could see the Naini Lake.I was joined by Megha and Gitika (again!). The expression on her face still remained the same. But we did enjoy this time too.

Our time to go back via the rope was 1.15 PM. We gathered near the rope-way only to be told that the rope-way had developed a snag. and therefore will take up time. To kill some time, me, Swati and Apoorva headed for another game of shooting, the result being the same. Me: 10/10, Apoorva : 9/10, Swati: More or less hitting air :)

After the shooting, we all decided to rest a little bit. We went to one of the eateries of the place. I did not order anything. Gitika, Apoorva and Swati ordered a plate of Maggi, and some juice. I thank the Juicewala till date because that glass of juice brought out a side of Apoorva that frankly, I had never seen before, nor do I ever again intend to. You see, so far Apoorva had been, as far as I was concerned, normal. But that glass of juice brought out a (sorry to say, but true) horny, uncontrolled energy out in her.

Trip Turner

 
The full effects would be described in the later paragraphs of this post.

2:00 PM

Finally, thankfully, the rope-way started again. We all climbed in the groups we had come in, and went down. Ours was the last group to get off the rope-way. Some students had by that time got into a skating rink and were trying their luck in skating, failing miserably. I asked Rohan Ji what the itinerary would be now, as the rats of my stomach were ready to jump out. So again, Rohan Ji revised the itinerary. We had to head back to the hotel, have our lunch, and then come back to the Naini lake for boating and to visit the temple.

We all started our 3 Km trek towards the hotel. Me, Apoorva, Rohan Ji, Swati, Ratika and Garima decided to take the same route we had come from. We were the first lot to leave. However , when we were very near to the hotel, we saw everyone coming from another direction. Apparently, there was a short-cut, which we were not aware of. Cursing each other, we headed to our hotel.

4:00 PM

Stomachs full, we decided to head back to the lake. This time though, we decided to take the short-cut. We reached the lake at around 4.30. As soon as we reached, we were swarmed by the local boatwallas. We decided, after much debate, that we would use the row boat and not the pedal boat, because frankly, after seeing the fitness level of my friends on the trip, I was quite sure not even one boat would be able to complete one full circle of the lake. We all sat in groups of 4, and only one boat got 5.

In my boat, Rohan Ji, Mohit, me, and Mohnish were sitting. Me and Rohan Ji grabbed the better, more comfy seats, while Mohit and Mohnish had to take a plank of wood. Though we got a bit uncomfy in our lifejackets (and honestly, I think Rohan Ji just got stuck sitting with me, otherwise the seat was large enough to hold me only), we went ahead. The water was freezing cold, and no one was in a mood to talk much, because the scenes around were quite nice. We clicked a couple of pictures, when we heard a voice "Koi hamari bhi kheench lo". The juice was taking effect. Apoorva was shouting in the middle of the lake, with other boats around, imploring anyone who could pull her ___. Finally, Rakhu obliged..., and clicked her picture.

Koi hamari bhi kheench lo :)

After taking a round of the lake, we decided to head towards the Naina Devi temple. We all got down, and the last boat to come in was the one carrying 5 people. The boat comprised of Megha, Ujaley, Ratika, Allen Parker and Neera. While docking, Megha, as usual, created a ruckus. The boat started to wobble, and we could see Ujaley's tounge darting in and out like a chameleon. I was told by Apoorva that this is what Ujaley does when he is nervous. We all laughed, and that increased the darts per second even more. Finally, everyone got down, and we walked towards the temple.

Being the atheist I am, I decided to sit out of this event. I was joined by Keerti. We sat just outside of the temple, while everyone else went inside. We chit-chatted for some time, when people started to come out. Everyone came out in about 20 minutes, but there were a couple of people missing. Upon enquiry, we came to know that Mohit and Neera were still inside. Mohit was getting some special puja, and would take some time. We enquired about the cave museum, and came to know that it would have closed by the time. So, another itinerary revision came. We decided to skip the cave museum all together, and decided to stroll down the mall road.

There is always a time in every trip when you want to say, 'Why god why', and that moment came during the mall road stroll. Being with girls, and that too juice-affected girls, spreading their germs to other girls too, you have to be extra conscious. The affects can vary from person to person. Some may shout 'Mera Boyfriend Hai, OK'?, while others would get inside random shops and buy nothing. Some would be teased, while others would just wander off without the group, only to get lost (Ujaley), deep in their photography slumber. After a while, when we could not take the chilly air anymore we decided to cut short the trip and head back to the hotel, where we were told a bonfire was waiting for us.

9:00 PM

We all gathered around the bonfire, warming our bones, when the juice decided to raise its ugly head again. Girls became possessed, and some stuff in the pictures which cannot be mentioned in this blog.

Juice taking effect

Anyways, we headed for our dinner at 9.30, and at around 10.30, went to our rooms

11:00 PM

We all bunked in Megha's balcony, where we were later joined by Swati, Apoorva, Keerti and other members of our room. We discussed some general stuff: about college, friends, life etc, got some pictures clicked, discussed the trip we just have had etc. Though we had decided that since it was the last day of our trip, no one would sleep, but we were all in our beds by 1.00 AM
By 1.05 AM, I did not know where I was.Again.


12th March 2010, 7.30 AM

Finally, the last day of our trip had arrived. I was woken up by Mohit, but I decided to stay in the bed for a few extra minutes. Finally I got up, freshened up, and went in the girl's room next to us. Here, I was confronted by Megha. "Oye, did you hear what we said about you last night? The banging on the walls? The talks? Anything?". The juice, I thought. "Nahi yaar, I was deep asleep", I told her. Though, I have never been told what the talks were, and I was pretty astonished these girls talking about me, but I have been assured it was all in good sense, so its ok :)

We all had kept our luggage outside and were ready to check out by 10. The breakfast was not good (again). Inspite of repeated warnings, lot of people ate Puri-Aaloo. What would happen to their stomachs now depended on god and our bus driver, who was anyways not in a good mood because of some past debates. By 10.20, after getting pictures clicked and sending the luggage towards the bus, we moved.

The bus took off from Nainital at around 11. Special mention to Johnny the mountain dog who came all the way to the bus stop to say his goodbyes. After braving the mountain curves for about an hour, our first vomit contestant came to the front. Garima Arora. I was asleep at that point, and when the bus stopped, I happened to look outside. And, I think, I was the only person who witnessed Garima's throwup. Disgusted, I went back to sleep.

2.30 PM

The driver had decided to take a short-cut through the highway, saying it would help us cut about an hour. But honestly, I thought the route took more time than it should have. Anyways, the bus stopped in between for pee relieving. Everyone got down and went through the process, but Gitika got something in return as well. Want to know what? Ask her.

Though the later journey comprised of a lot of unpleasantness exchanged between the juniors and seniors, i'm not gonna write about it, because for me, its not important. A lot of juice flowing also happened, and I hope Apoorva would add on to that in the comments section. We finally reached our college gate at 10.00 PM

One of the most memorable journeys of my life had come to an end. I had made so many new friends, came to know so many people up, close and personal, and developed a special relationship with everyone. The only grudge I have is that this trip should have happened in the first year, so that the new found friendship had another year to blossom. But we all have promised that we will be planning something again, right guys? Hope to add more friends this time. Cheers!!!

Students for 2 years. Friends for life

The You-Know-Which-Trip...dissected Part 3

 This blog is dedicated to all my friends at MMC...U guys seriously rock...

10th March 2010, 12:00 AM

Everyone seemed to be excited and nervous at the same time. After all, not many of the audience had tasted 'Limca' before. Rohan Ji poured out small ones for the first timers first. The list included Ratika (I don't remember whether she had or not, this is just a guess. Blame it on poor memory), Garima, Danish, Tanya, Mohnish and Keerti. Though Mohnish tried to act like a seasoned player, but my doubts were confirmed after his second helping only. Anyway, for helping ease their pain, we had Kurkure and Uncle Chips as stand-byes. Also had the real Limca to boost the flavor.

Me and Rohan Ji had decided to savor the flavor, and therefore wanted to take this in slowly. So was everyone else. But then, we forgot whom we had with us. Enter 'I'm a Jain'. We all cheered, and Miss Jain gulped the entire thing in one go. I could see what was in store, and in spite of our repeated requests, Miss Jain did not budge from her gulping sessions. We continued.

1:00 AM

After everyone was tight (some were tight after the first and only peg only, special mention to Keerti who said her head was spinning and decided to rest herself, only to show her true colors later), me, Rohan Ji and Danish decided to walk back to our room. We had just barely reached our room when we got a call from Tanya saying that Keerti is laughing non-stop. We hurried back to their room, only to see Keerti sitting soberly. "Kya hua?", Rohan ji asked, flummoxed. "Kuch nahi yaar, ye sab to pagal hai", Keerti said, rolling her eyes. We again started to leave for our room, when Rohan Ji's now charged up mind was flying like a horse. "Dude, chal dekhen Ujaley kya kar raha hai", he said to me. Unwilling, I went went with him. Though we could not see anything, we could hear conversation inside. Then Rohan Ji thought of a new prank. "Inki MCB down kar ke bhaag jaatein hai". "Paagal ho gaya hai kya, upar hi C.P. ka room hai, bachche chilayenge to woh zaroor neeche aa jayega", I told him, hoping against hope that he would listen. But who could debate with him at that time. "Kuch nahi hoga saale, lets do it", he said, winking at me, waving his hands in his trademark style. We went by the side of the room, turned their MCB off, and ran and went inside Keerti's room, where we shut the lights and pretended everyone was asleep. We had done this prank once before, so no one came out for 5 mins. After that Ujaley's head popped out of the room. Also, we saw a watchman coming with a torch. We all were giggling, holed up inside the room, while Megha and Keerti started shouting words incomprehensible to us. We asked them to remain quite. The watchman moved around for sometime and turned their MCB on. He then started coming towards our room. The scene looked like that out of a suspense/ thriller movie. We were dead silent, and were looking at the watchman as if he was a gangster moving towards our room with a gun, looking for his victim.  He flashed his torchlight in our room for a couple of times, but could not detect us. Confused, scratching his head, he went away. We gave a huge sigh of relief.

After 10 mins, when we did not see any movement, we decided to head back to our room. Though Rohan Ji was adamant that we turn off their MCB one more time, this time I was persistant and dragged his ass back to our room. Here, Rohan Ji thought of another prank. Mohit was sleeping in our room alone. Though he may look tough, but he is actually pretty scared of ghosts n stuff. So Rohan Ji decided to scare him. Covering his face with a blanket, and me with a quilt, we approached him. "Moooohhhiiittt" Rohan Ji growled, trying to sound as scary as possible. In one flash, Mohit got up, removed the blanket from Rohan's face, and asked politely, "Haan bhai, bol?" We rolled in laughter, and Rohan Ji was left pretty red-faced. Anyway, because we had a wake-up call at 5:00 again, we decided to sleep. Once we hit the bed, we had no clue what happened next.

5.30 A.M.

After hearing Rohan Ji's Christian Rock alarm ringtone for the umpteenth time, I finally got up. I turned his alarm off, and tried to wake him. But how can you wake a person who hasn't slept for the past 48 hours, to get up so easily? Giving up, I headed towards the washroom. Finally, Mohit's booming voice and vigorous shakes to Rohan's body made him open his eyes. At first he was adamant that he wouldn't go. But then he also decided to join us. We all changed and went to the girl's room. There, we got to know that Miss Jain had  taken her stomach's content out twice the previous night. Laughing, we enquired about everyone else. Here, we came to know that Megha, Ratika, Garima and Tanya had decided to skip the walk. Finally, after everyone had their cups of tea, we ventured out on our 'Jungle Walk'.

7:00 AM

The jungle walk was a pleasant experience. The calmness and serenity of the jungle around us was to be soaked in. But how is that possible when you are surrounded by 30 other people? Me and Rohan Ji were walking in the end of the trail, trying to keep everyone together, but in vain. The juniors walking in front of us were going at their own speed, as if they had come for a stroll in the park. Some seniors were busy getting their pictures clicked. I would have actually cursed all of them in my mind at one point of time or another. What is the point of a jungle walk if the people around you are so completely ignorant of the entire purpose of this walk? No one was willing to even walk properly, let alone be quite for some time. Also, another thing I realized was that most of my friends had the 'city' syndrome. Walk for 15 mins and their lungs gave up, they twisted their ankles, fell down, and walked as if their knees had no life at all. Surprisingly, Rohan Ji, who is known for his love for the tobacco stick, did not pant even once. Again, I was surprised.

The walk was pretty uneventful, except maybe Divya slipping at one point and Gitika twisting her ankle. Apart from that, I came to know of some nicknames Rashneer and Divya had given to some of us. While Danish was called 'Sutli bum', I was called 'Hydrogen Bum'. Amused, we walked back to our resort.

12.00 PM

After washing up, sleeping and getting our breakfast, we were all set to leave the Jungle Club Resort. We had very beautiful memories of the place, and some events that would be remembered for a long time to come. We were all packed, and thanked Shiv, the hotel manager for his exceptional service and food. He again, did his duties of carrying our luggage to the bus in his 800, and even came back to take a bunch of juniors who wanted a free ride downhill on some pretext. We all settled in the bus and the bus rolled on. Our next stop : Corbett Fall.

Here, Rohan Ji decided to take revenge on everyone. He did not spare anyone from this hardship, not even himself. You see, the fall was about 2.5 kms from the main gate of the entry. The bus could have easily gone inside and saved us about an hour of walk. But Rohan Ji decided otherwise. He made us all walk. In the blazing afternoon sun, we walked. Cursing Rohan Ji and the cars vrooming by us, we walked.

Finally, we reached Corbett Fall. The first thing that came in my mind was, why didn't I pack my trunks? You see, my entire time spent in Corbett, I wanted to take a dip. Either in the swimming pool, or anywhere else. But so far, that all did not happen due to one reason or other. Cursing myself, I anyways went inside the fall, folding my lower up to my knees. The first to enter was Mohit, followed by me.

We had a really good time at the falls. We all got our pictures clicked by the dozen. rested our feet in the ice-cold water, and enjoyed the scenery. After about 2 hours, despite us wishing this would never end, we walked back to our bus. The entire freshness of the feet were gone, and we were back to being our old, tired, miserable self.

3.00 PM

After we reached the bus, everyone stocked up on the resources for the journey to Nainital, when the girls realized that they had to pee. Suddenly, some guys (me included) also realized the same. We went to a nearby resort where we were outrightly refused to use their facilities. Hurling abuses at them, we left and went back to the bus. The bus driver was instructed to stop at a place on the way where everyone could relieve themselves. Finally, the bus moved.

The bus wouldn't have moved 2 kms, when Divya started to shout "Mera camera nahi mil raha". She looked everywhere, but did not find it. She asked Mohit to ask the driver to take a U-turn and go back. I thought, would the driver actually take the bus back? And why is Divya asking Mohit to make the bus take a U-turn? After all, she could do so herself. Suddenly, the camera was discovered in Rashneer's lap. Thinking about the hara-kiri jsut caused, I slumbered to sleep.

I woke up when the bus had stopped moving. I asked Rohan Ji who was sitting next to me why had we stopped. "Dude, pee karne ke liye bachche utare hain, do you want to go"? Realizing i had to too, i stepped out. Rohan Ji instructed me not to let anyone click pictures here. I was a little amazed. Why would people want to click pictures at a place where we were getting down to pee? But knowing our mates, I stepped down, looking for the odd shutterbug. But thankfully, people did what they had stopped the bus for.

5.30 PM

I woke up in Nainital next. I missed the whole journey to the hill station, and was told that Rohan and Mohit had gone to the hotel to check stuff up. But, me snoozing was captured in someone's camera. When I saw the picture, I was amazed my neck had not broken off in the angle it was resting in. Anyway, I started to peep outside my window. Motorcycles were zipping by, with the riders wearing jackets and gloves. 'It could not be that cold' I thought. After all, the bus felt reasonably warm. I decided to step down, stretch my legs. For precautionary measures, I took my jacket along. As soon as I stepped down, the icy wind slapped me in my face, as if angry that I questioned its authority. I quickly zipped my jacket all the way to the top and strolled lazily around the bus. The bus was parked at a tourist taxi stop, in front of the Cave Park. I thought this must be exciting. Since there was no itinerary fixed for Nainital, i thought of putting it in my to-do list.

After waiting for about an hour, all hell broke lose. The loose details that we had got about why we were not going to the hotel were as follows:
1. The driver had outrightly refused to budge his bus, and wanted us to walk, carrying our luggage.
2. C.P. Singh and Deepak Sir had gone with them, leaving no authority over children sitting in the bus, except C.P. Singh's wife.
3. The juniors were getting impatient, ridiculing the fact that they were being forced to sit in the bus, without a solution in sight.
4. Apparently, the driver had gotten more pissed because of a scolding he got from his boss and then simply refused to help us in any way.
5. Rohan and Mohit had arranged for a couple of taxis for luggage transport, and they were coming back.

Amidst all this confusion, one junior tried to act smart. "Rohan has called me, he wants to take our luggage out of the bus and get down". I was surprised. If such an announcement had to be made, he would have conveyed it to me or to Danish. But not giving it much thought, we got down and took our luggage out.

After about 15 mins, when we all had got down, we saw Rohan Ji and Mohit walking towards us. Meanwhile C.P. Singh's wife was hurling abuses at him over Danish's phone. "Khud to wahan jaa kar baith gaye ho, mujhe yaahan chhod diya hai. Main kya karun yahan akele? Ye saara saama lekar kaun jayega? Main jaa rahi hu tumhara saaman yahan chhod kar, khud le jana". Controlling my urge to laugh and thinking of C.P. Singh's expression, I moved towards Rohan Ji to clarify the details. Rohan ji came marching in. "Who asked you to move the luggage?" He asked me. I told him the junior's name. He then went on to chat with the junior, who had a reason of his own. Apparently, he had done so without Rohan's consent, and because he thought that everyone was getting impatient and therefore decided to take matters in his own hands. I could not believe my ears. Can anyone be this stupid? Here, someone is trying to co-ordinate things that the faculty members should be doing, and on the other hand, he has to bear with such dumb-witted students. Angry, I walked away.

While Rohan was trying to convince everyone that taxis were coming, some juniors decided to walk towards the hotel. Even after repeated requests, they did not listen. I asked Rohan Ji to let them go. After all, we are not here to take care of them, nor were we obliged to. "Let them do whatever they want to", I told Rohan Ji, fuming. "Chill dude", he said. I was taken aback. If I would have been at his place, I would have actually punched someone in the face. But he said " Things have been taken care of. Tu tension mat le. These guys will have it back".

As promised, two taxis showed up to take our luggage. One taxi had C.P. Singh's wife along, while the other had a junior sitting in front. These taxis came back for another round, and took some girls who did not want to walk. Only Neera and Megha decided to stay back. We started to walk towards the hotel.

6.30 PM

We reached 'The Pavilion'. The hotel looked pretty from the outside, giving it a old, English inn look. I went inside, fuming. How inconsiderate can people be, I thought. No acknowledgment of a person who is doing so much for you, just because he took the command of the trip. At least show some respect to him. I was so angry, I took Rohan Ji's case. "Yaar tu in c***iyon ke liye kyu kuchch kar raha hain, marne de saalon ko", I told him, with smoke coming out of my ears. He mellowed me down, saying he has the perfect spoiler for them. We ate our brunch, and then Rohan Ji disclosed his plan.

Actually, Rohan Ji had enough of the trip debacles. After all, he was mortal too. So, he decided for a little payback. Apparently, he had kept the best rooms for us. By us, I mean all the seniors, and the biggest reserved for us boys. The girls got huge rooms too. Juniors were given comparatively smaller rooms. He said even if they would complain, he would not change the room, simply because the rest of the hotel was booked. I was still not convinced. "Dude, ruk ja, you will see", he said, smiling. I hoped this time he was right.

After some confusion erupted on rooms, with Rashneer and gang shifting downstairs because they did not like the room, and juniors been given a room to house 3 girls which could hold 5, we finally entered our room. The room looked pretty ordinary, till we opened another door. It had a huge living area with a balcony attached, and finally after 3 hours, I smiled. Rohan Ji had taken his revenge well, I thought. Later, Rohan Ji told me that the room was not taken because of the size, but because it had a 21 inch flat screen Samsung TV. After all, boys will be boys.

Later, C.P.Singh decided to do a round of all the rooms. We went to all the rooms with him, and he in the end came to our room. To relax the atmosphere, I asked him to feel at home. Taking my advice literally, he jumped in the bed, took the quilt and cozied himself in! Rohan Ji looked at me, his eyes saying "Why Ravi Why"?, while I looked at him sheepishly. After about 10 minutes, he decided to move. Almost out, he asked us, how would you 5 guys adjust in this room? Suddenly Mustaquim Mia appeared out of nowhere, and tried to show C.P. the additional room. And then started Operation Mustaquim.

You see, we did not want C.P. to see the additional room. After all, the organizing committee could afford a few luxuries. So we had locked up the additional room, and pulled the curtains. But Mustaquim Mia, being the journalist he is, wanted the truth to come out. As soon as he tried to point to the additional room, the following things happened within 5 seconds.

1. Rohan Ji threw down a slip, asking aloud whose slip was it, bending down and blocking Mustaquim's way.
2. Mohit came in front of the door, standing in between the room and Mustaquim Mia as if there was a celebrity holed inside and he was the bouncer.
3. Mustaquim Mia was frisked away to the side, and me, Mohnish and Danish gave him a glaring look. Mustaquim Mia slipped away.

After all this we decided tor rest. The girls wanted to go for a leisurely stroll down the mall road. But we kept on postponing it. Finally, when we moved at 9.00, we were told the market had closed. After getting a few pictures clicked, we came back to the hotel.

11.00 PM

After stuffing ourselves with dinner, we decided to take a stroll in the hotel park. The night temperature had dropped significantly, and it was pretty cold outside. Me, Rohan ji, Danish and Mohnish went for the walk. Upon returning, we realized there was a bed and quilts missing in our room. The explanation given to us by the standby receptionist was that everyone (the hotel staff) had gone to sleep. Therefore, nothing much could be done. Shocked, we sat in the reception area only where we waited for some solution. Divya also came to join us, and said a quilt was missing in her room too. Finally after 15 mins, Rohan Ji went with the reception guy and got our bed and quilt. We went back to our room at 11.30. Thought the bed was very uneven, i decided to sleep anyway, because my body was screaming for rest. By 11.45, I did not know where I was lying, but had excitement in my heart, about the day which was about to arrive.

End of part 3

The You-Know-Which-Trip...dissected Part 2

This blog is dedicated to all my friends at MMC...U guys seriously rock...

9th March 2010, 4.00 A.M.

Mohnish's alarm woke me up from a deep slumber I was in. Even though I could hear the alarm ringing, I ignored it because honestly, I did not want to get up. My body had still not recovered completely from the exhaustion it had suffered yesterday. But anyway, cursing Rohan Ji for again setting up the time so early, I got up. "What the hell" I thought. He could have easily arranged for the evening safari, and let us sleep in peace for one day at least. First the excitement of the trip, and then the trip itself had not let me sleep properly for the past few days. Rubbing my eyes, I looked around in the dimly-lit room, and then i realized, I was alone.

Baffled, I turned on the lights. I saw Mohnish sleeping in his bed, but no one else was there. No Rohan Ji, Mohit or Danish. The last thing I remembered about the earlier night was me going to sleep and Rohan going out for a smoke. What happened next? I had no clue. I woke Mohnish up, and asked if he had Rohan Ji's no. He gave me his phone and I dialled, thinking where the hell is everyone. 

"Haan dude" came the reply from the other side before I could even say Hello. "Uth jaa saale, kahan so rahe ho tum log. 4 baj rahe hain, safari par jaana hai ya nahi" I asked him, thinking to myself he must be really furious for me waking him up. But, I was in for another shock. "Bhai hum to poori raat soye hi nahi. Main abhi room main aa raha hun, fir tujhe poori kahani batata hu", he said and kept the phone down. 

Upon his entry, I rained Rohan Ji with a flurry of questions. Slowly, the picture became clear. Apparently, Megha had brought some 'Limca' along with herself on the trip. Though the quantity was not even enough for one proper peg, but she had carried it anyway. And from that our ace photographer, Mohd. Ujaley had taken it all in one go. And that lead to a two hour session on C.V. building, Resume updating and name givings by the new lovology proffesor, Ujaley Mia. The entire two hour session was captured by various cameras, including mobile phones and handycams, and the memory and battery of all of them had exhausted from the gyan. The lecture was attended by Rohan Ji, Mohit, Ratika, Garima, Megha and Danish. Laughing, I went into the loo. Everyone changed clothes and skipped bathing (again) because it was early morning. I too was ready.

5:00 A.M.

All ready and raring to go, we stepped outside our room. The walk to the girl's room can be simply described as "Road to Hell". Pin drop silence, jungle looking our way, and about 500 mts distance. Braving, we went to their rooms and checked. Everyone was almost ready. By 5.30, everyone had gathered and had the early morning tea. And then, disaster struck.

You see, we were supposed to reach Rampur by 6.00 a.m., so that the Jeep Safari could start early and we could maybe catch a glimpse of the yellow striped animal. Everyone was ready by 5.45, including our course head and his wife. We went to the gate of the resort, waiting that everyone would assemble there. And then, during head count Rohan ji realized that there were 2 people missing. Upon inquiry, we came to know that two juniors were missing. The reason given was that one junior had just gone in to take a bath. Filled with anger, I told Rohan "Let's move dude. Nahi aa rahe to naa sahi, hum kyu apna trip kharaab karein". But Rohan ji insisted on waiting, saying that it must be another 5 mins. We urged everyone else to move to the bus. With the hotel manager, Mr. Shiv leading the way in his dinky Maruti 800's lights, and a chowkidaar with a torch in the end, everyone moved. Me, Rohan Ji, Mohit and Megha stayed back.

After what seemed like a lifetime, the two juniors emerged from the shadows of the resort. With no source of light, I asked Rohan Ji to switch on his camera flash and we moved. What angered me even further was that those two juniors did not utter a word, let alone an apology. I shared my thoughts with Megha, who was as angry. Anyway, we clicked a few pictures of the sun coming out of his sleep and reached the bus. The bus finally moved at 7.30 a.m.

8.00 A.M.

I was excited as hell. My father used to tell me stories about the time he visited Corbett in 1986 in his Fiat. How he got stuck while crossing the river, where half of our belongings floated away. How the spark plug of the car malfunctioned and he had to get down to fix it. How the resort at which they stayed did not even have proper locks and one wild sway of the tiger's paw could have broken it. How he insisted on getting a picture with a fox, and when my grandmother refused, threw tantrums around. I was looking for a little bit of mayhem myself this time.

After reaching Rampur, we could see several open gypsies lined up. I could not contain my excitement. "This is it" I thought. " Tiger, here I come".

After getting down from the bus, we were told that the gypsy could only carry 6 poeple. My head started to do the math. Me, Danish, Rohan Ji, Mohit, Keerti and Tanya. 6 people. I think this is how it will work out. But then, fate had something else in mind. I was forced to go in a jeep with 6 girls. And there I first interacted with the 3 deviyan of our batch - Apoorva, Swati and Gitika.

In all fairness, I had interacted with them before. During lunch breaks, when they used to come out of their new media class, we used to chit-chat, but that was about it. But spending a 3 hours in a safari jeep was not my cup of tea. But, to my relief, I also had Ratika, Garima and Megha with me, who are my corp. comm batch mates. Braving everything, I stood up in the jeep.

Man, could the jeepwallah drive. The man must be hitting 80 at the tight curves of Rampur. My face was going both hot and cold at the same time. Water was flowing from my eyes as if someone had newly installed a motor in them.  Hands went VERY cold, and I was standing at the edge of the jeep. Holding on to the bar for dear life, I made a small 10 sec video featuring the occupants of the jeep.

8.30 A.M.

After getting the required permissions and lots of pictures, our jeep finally moved inside the jungle. There is no single word to describe the jungle, and it certainly feels different when you sit in front of a TV to watch Nat Geo or Discovery. When you go inside, you understand how delicate the balance of nature is. Everything is where exactly it should be, and it still looked completely random. The jungle makes you excited and nervous at the same time. You do not know what might be lurking around the next bend, and what might spring up from the side of your jeep the next moment. It was very cold, and wind was playing spoilsport. But what was really enjoyable was the landscape. Elephant grass stretched for kilometers, and  you always have the anticipation that you may see something soon. A little later, we started to see deers and grey langurs. A funny incident happened here. We stopped to click some pictures of deers, when we sensed drops falling on our jeep.Looking up, we saw a langur sitting on the tree. "Humare upar pee kar diya" said Apoorva. Incidentally, I was the major beneficiary of Langur pee. Everyone laughed, and I could sense my face turning red. But the guide confirmed that it was in fact dew drops that had collected over the night. Relieved, we moved on.

The first stop inside the jungle was a stopover for some tea.The entire area was surrounded by electrical fences, which were powered by solar panels.  Small shops also lined up the area, where you could buy some merchandise. Some girls brought small tiger stuff toys, and I wondered why. They were easily available in Delhi too. But maybe they wanted a souvenir from Corbett. Swati asked Rohan Ji wether it was the end of the safari. Before I could intervene, Rohan Ji sensed the opportunity. "Haan yaar, bas yahin tak tha, ab yahan se vaapas". I could see dissapointment in Swati's face, but I joined the party too. "Bas yaar itna hi tha", I said to her, looking at Rohan Ji and smiling. But till then, she had got what we were trying to do. She miffed us away.

9.30 AM

The real safari started. We realized that we were going deep in the jungle. The guide asked us to remain quite and enjoy the scenery. But how is it possible when we have the biggest chatterbox in MMC standing with us? Enter Megha Jain. You see, there are people who can talk and then there are people who can talk. Megha falls in the latter category. She had not slept in the past 24 hours, but still had enough energy to talk the entire course of the journey. Irritated, I asked everyone to play a game. "Sab 5 min chup rahenge. Jo pehle bolega, wo haar jayega". I had only started to appreciate the beauty of nature, and think how sly I am, when Gitika interrupted. My hope and will were both shot dead.

Though we did not see many animals, and also missed the coveted yellow stripes, I was happy with the experience. This was something I had never experienced before, and I wished that it would not end this early. But as all good things, this also came to an end, and we were left at the bus by our jeeps. I got down early for a quick picture of the empty river, and then rushed back towards the bus.

10.30 A.M.

A debate ensued. Should we first go to Garjiya temple, which was another 10 kms, or go back to our resort and then come back? In the end, religion won. We decided to go back to the resort because students were apprehensive about going to a temple without taking a bath. Also, everyone was pretty tired and hungry. The bus took a U-turn.

11.00 A.M.

Upon reaching the resort, Rohan Ji announced that everyone should be ready by 2 so that we can go to Garjiya temple and the Corbett museum. Everyone agreed. We all went inside our rooms, took a bath and came out for breakfast.

After breakfast, we sat down to chat. Me, Rohan Ji, Ujaley, Gitika, Keerti and Swati were standing inside a dome shaped structure, talking about the safari. Megha was sleeping next to an empty swimming pool, and Mohit was asleep in a make-shift bar. At around 1.30, Rohan Ji started rounding up people. At about 2:30, everyone had their stomachs full with lunch and were ready to go. Some students were strolling around the resort, while some were still sitting in the restaurant. At around 3, everyone was ready to make a move (I mentioned in my earlier blog, punctuality is not our class's forte), when we got to know that some juniors are not coming. Surprised, Rohan Ji asked the reason. While one person was unwell, the rest were just not in a mood to go. Rohan ji got irritated." Ye kya baat hai yaar, hum yahan official trip par aaye hai ya apni apni personal trips par?". He told C.P.Singh this, and he finally decided to take coercive action (though against his wife's wishes, she was adamant to leave everyone behind and just go).

After about 45 mins of waiting, we departed. Everyone was angry and irritated, because we were told that Corbett museum would close at 5., and we would miss out on something that we wanted to see. Again, no apologies from the junior's side.

5.15 P.M.

After playing F1 with the bus, the driver finally put the bus to a halt at Corbett museum. We went inside and saw stuffed tigers, tigresses, deers etc. Each one had a plaque stating the date of death and the reason of death. While some were killed because they had become man-eaters, some died a natural death. A baby-elephant was killed in a stampede of elephants. Seeing the life-size tigers, i realized that though we were very excited to see tigers in the morning, but even if we would have seen one in its glory, we would have either dirtied our jeans or screamed the entire course of our journey. Anyway, after clicking a slew of pictures, we left the place at 6.

6.30 P.M.

We reached Garjiya temple , which was sitiuated bang in the centre of a dried river. Legend has it that the temple came flowing down the river and established itself in the middle of the river. Being an atheist, I did not go inside. I instead stayed back and did Chaukidaari for everyone's footwear. Everyone went in and came out quick. Then we proceeded towards the shallow stream flowing, to witness the antics of a man known as Mustaquim Mia.

In this trip, something had got inside Mustaquim Mia. Maybe it was an ill-cooked chicken, or a cup of stale tea (i'm quite sure he would have drank it anyway). You see, my mental image of Mustaquim Mia was a gentle, caring, silent kinda guy. But since the starting of the trip, he had been behaving differently. Climbing trees, taking swing at ropes, he was the next Tarzan in the making. Here too, he was the first to step in the river. And by step I mean go stand in the middle of the river with his jeans folded up to his knees and shouting "I'm the king".

Nevertheless, I preferred to stay on the shore, and so did Rohan Ji. everyone else went in and got pictures clicked. I thought I was going to go blind with all the camera flashes. Thankfully, it stopped. We all went towards the bus, where Rohan ji passed highway toll slips as meal vouchers to everyone. Surprisingly, not even one of them looked at them, and kept them in the pocket. I was surprised.

8.30 P.M.

We all got down in front of the 800 mts trek to our resort. While everyone moved, Roahn Ji, me, Ujaley, Sam Sammy and a couple of juniors stayed back. Rohan ji had spotted the ultimate treasure. We went there and brought a full and a half 'Limca'. Anticipating the night to be fun, we went back to the resort, where we had dinner. After dinner, we sat down chatting in Megha's room, joined by Apoorva, Swati, Gitika and Tanya. After about an hour of chatting, they decided to bunk in their room. Then is when Rohan Ji brought the 'Limca' out. And boy, did we 'doobo in taazgi'. But more on that later.

End of part 2